Chinese hospitality

One of the best things about living in China is how welcoming and hospitable people can be. Don’t get me wrong, this is not to say that everyone you meet is best friend material, nor that plenty of people won’t piss you off (particularly on crowded public transport..). What I do mean though is how accommodating people can be when you make an effort to socialise and mix with them.

A perfect example of this happened to me a few weeks ago when I went to the cable company to pay my TV bill. Whilst in the queue I got talking to one of the women that worked there and ended up giving her my QQ number. Long story short I ended up being invited to her family’s house for home-made dumplings and now have a regular badminton match with her husband. That is not even the first time that I have been treated to home-made dumplings – a chance comment to my friend about liking dumplings evolved into me having new year’s dinner with his parents replete with dumplings that his mum had painstakingly made the night before! This kind of accommodating character is not unusual, and I think that for new people coming out to China the most important thing is that you not only open yourself up to it, but actively pursue it. When I first came to China I was sometimes uneasy if someone I didn’t really know asked for my phone number or QQ, but usually they are just being friendly and if you pursue it you often find yourself having experiences you otherwise wouldn’t have had whilst making some great friends along the way.

If I asked many of my friends at home for a lift to the airport I don’t think there would be too many volunteers, but this kind of thing is something that Chinese people will generally do for their friends. When my brothers visited Wuhan last year my Chinese friends were basically queuing up to help out and provide lifts if needed (which I was quite happy to accept). The notion of friendship is taken very seriously and making Chinese friends is a very enriching experience. Learning Chinese is definitely something worth doing though as it opens so many doors and allows you to communicate with people you otherwise wouldn’t. This is not to say however that it is an uncrossable hurdle, one of my English friends in his first year regularly played football with a group of 9 or 10 Chinese guys. After football they would all get hotpot together and have a big night, occasionally even going to a KTV. Of the Chinese men only 1 or 2 really spoke English, but I know that for my friend it didn’t stop him from having a great time with them and making some good friends (he ended up going to two of their weddings).

I do think that it is important to have other foreign friends. Having people that speak the same language and share the same background is a hugely important thing in a foreign country. Having said this, making friends from outside this circle; whether middle-aged women from the cable shop or a rowdy Chinese football team is absolutely worth it, not just because you will experience and do things you otherwise wouldn’t, but because you will enjoy your time in China that much more if you have some good friends to rely on.